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My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! " She said, "No, but I got the license plate." Last night my wife met me at the front door.

Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents.

legally Jack Roy) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer and screenwriter known for the catchphrase "I don't get no respect! He is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School.

After his father abandoned the family, his mother moved him and his sister to Kew Gardens, Queens, and he attended Richmond Hill High School, where he graduated in 1939.

After making a big impression with audiences with his spot in the golf comedy Caddyshack and a lead role in Easy Money, his star was slowly rising.

But it was this film that cemented his spot in American pop culture as a true icon of the 80's and a transition star.

Thanks so much." This is a dedication to Estelle Endler, Rodney Dangerfield's manager and one of the executive producers of the film, who died during production.

See more » Back to School (1986) was a surprise hit for stand up comedian actor Rodeny Dangerfield.

He struggled financially for nine years, at one point performing as a singing waiter until he was fired, and also working as a performing acrobatic diver before giving up show business to take a job selling aluminum siding to support his wife and family.

[Quote] I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. [/Quote] [Quote] I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning! [/Quote] [Quote] I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.

I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. [/Quote] [Quote] On Halloween, the parents send their kids out looking like me. [/Quote] [Quote] Well with girls I don't get no respect. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap.

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.

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